Home dialysis basics

Supporting your home dialysis care partner

If you are a home dialysis patient, it’s likely that you have a care partner or a special person in your life who helps you with your at-home treatments and your health condition. It’s often this person who helps you with dialysis and daily tasks such as:

• sets up your home dialysis equipment
• assists you with your home dialysis treatments
• cooks your meals
• takes you to your in-center check-ups
• runs your errands
• picks up your medications
• loves and supports you

Although a care partner’s role may vary from patient to patient, one thing remains the same: Care partners need encouragement, too.

Here are some simple ways to support and encourage your home dialysis care partner and let him or her know you care.

Give thanks.

While you may not physically or financially be able to do everything you want to thank your care partner for their endless support, you can start by simply saying thank you every time he or she does something for you. It may seem like a small, insignificant gesture, but those two words are some of the nicest words to hear. No matter how many times your care partner does something for you throughout the day; remember to thank him or her verbally.

Other ways you can say thanks include sending thank you cards or leaving hand-written thank you notes in places where your care partner will find them.

Lend a hand.

Look for little ways to help your care partner out during the day. If he or she is the one who always cooks your meals, lend a hand in the kitchen every once in a while to give a break to him or her. If you are physically unable to cook a meal, try thinking outside the box. Order take-out from a local deli or restaurant. See if there are any groups in your area that offer personal chef services. These personal chefs will come into your home and prepare a meal or a number of meals for you. Recruit some neighborhood children to assist you in the kitchen and pay them for their time. Most likely, they’ll be thrilled at the opportunity.

If your home dialysis care partner is the one who keeps the house clean, pitch in and offer to clean a part of the house for a month or hire a cleaning service to clean it. If your care partner is responsible for mowing the lawn and keeping the yard looking neat, get a neighborhood kid to do it for a few dollars or better yet, a plate of cookies.

You don’t have to do these things every week if you don’t have the resources, but doing them for your care partner every once in a while shows that you support them and appreciate the work they do.

Give your partner some space.

Your partner may have activities or interests that you cannot participate in. Try to give him or her space to do things that may not always include you. Such activities might include going to a ballgame, a movie or even a weekend trip. This may not always be possible if your medical needs require continuous help from your partner. However, there may be other family members or friends who can help out for a few hours or even days so your partner can take a break.

Laugh a little.

Because end stage renal disease (ESRD) is part of your day every day, it may begin to weigh heavily on you and your care partner. While you may think ESRD affects only your life, you have to remember that your health condition is a huge part of your care partner’s life, as well. A great way to lighten things up for your care partner and ensure that he or she doesn’t get caught up in the seriousness of the disease is to share a good laugh.

Studies show that laughter is good for the heart, immune system and respiratory system. It also provides stress relief, pain relief and relaxation. Making your care partner laugh is a great way to help him or her relax and have some fun. Share some jokes. Rent a funny movie. Go see a stand-up comedian. There are a lot of ways to share the gift of laughter. Whatever you do, make the decision to find something funny to laugh about with your home dialysis care partner everyday.

Talk about it.

While your care partner is there for you on a daily basis and may never complain, that doesn’t mean they don’t have things on their mind related to your care. Make it a point to talk to your care partner regularly about how he or she is doing. Is there anything your care partner finds too hard or time-consuming, that he would rather not do? Maybe you can pitch in and help out. Does your care partner want to start a new hobby or class that would require him or her to be free on a certain day? Maybe you can get someone else to help you out on those days.

Communication is very important in a relationship such as the one you have. The only way you will know how things are going with your care partner is if you talk about it. However, many times, your care partner will not bring up these issues because he or she doesn’t want to bother you with them. For that reason, make it your responsibility to talk with your care partner and make sure they are happy in their current role.

Give a gift.

Getting your care partner a gift is a great way to show your appreciation for all they do for you and let them know you care about them. If you’d like to give a gift, listen for little things your care partner might mention wanting or liking. For example, if your care partner mentions that his or her watch broke the other day, consider getting him or her a replacement.

If you want to give a gift, but don’t want to spend too much money, consider your own talents. If you knit or scrapbook as a hobby, you may want to knit your care partner a scarf in his or her favorite colors or make a scrapbook for them.

Also, edible treats make great gifts. If you know your care partner loves your famous chocolate chip cookies, make a batch for him or her from time to time. It’s a gesture that doesn’t require much time or money, but shows that you pay attention to what they like and that you value them.

Have some fun.

To keep your care partner from feeling like his or her life revolves around your health condition, have some fun together. While the two of you probably spend plenty of time together during the day, ask yourself how much of that time is spent talking about, dealing with or planning for your dialysis treatments. If the answer is more than 50 percent, it’s time to have some fun.

There are plenty of ways to get your care partner’s mind off of caring for you by showing him or her a good time. Take a walk. Have a picnic. Go see a movie. Take up a shared hobby. Do a puzzle. Play cards. Have a Scrabble® tournament. Throw a dinner party.

Whether you want to go all out or do something small, take some time to think about what your care partner likes to do, and plan something fun that you can do together. Also, when you’re out enjoying yourself with your care partner, try not to mention your health condition. Take this time to focus on them.

Summary

Home dialysis care partners play a big part in the lives of patients with end stage renal disease (ESRD) who choose to do dialysis at home. Many times, care partners sacrifice their own time and hobbies to take care of you and make sure you have the love and support you need to be your healthiest. It’s important to remember, though, that care partners need support and encouragement, too. Make it a priority to look for ways to show your care partner how much you appreciate him or her.

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